May 2012
1 post
WatchFavorite episode of the Carol Burnett show. Watching them try to keep a straight face as Tim carries on about his elephant story.
March 2012
4 posts
February 2012
5 posts
Crabby Old Man
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in GRASS VALLEY, CA. It was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to Every nurse in the home. One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man’s sole...
I'm 64 and I'm Tired
“I’m 64 and I’m Tired” I’m 64. Except for brief period in the 60’s when I was doing my National Service, I’ve worked hard since I was 15. Except for some serious health challenges, I put in 50-hour weeks, and didn’t call in sick in nearly 40 years. I made a reasonable salary, but I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I...
Grandma's Boyfriend
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, ‘Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?’ Grandma replied, ‘Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and...
October 2011
1 post
August 2011
5 posts
July 2011
2 posts
Sack Lunch
Sack Lunches I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. ‘I’m glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,’ I thought. Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. ‘Where are you...
March 2011
2 posts
Proud to be an old fart
*I’m passing this on as I did not want to be the only old fart receiving it, so if you know any other than me, send it to ‘em…* *Actually, it’s not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing...
February 2011
3 posts
November 2010
3 posts
October 2010
1 post
September 2010
6 posts
The Divorced Barbie Doll
THE PERFECT HUSBAND
THE PERFECT HUSBAND Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: “Hello” WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” MAN: “Yes” WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat....
August 2010
2 posts
Drafting men over 60
Drafting men over 60- I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35. For starters: Researchers...
July 2010
0 posts
June 2010
15 posts
86 year old woman gets back at bank
Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the...